divorce

What Is a Parenting Coordinator?

Parenting coordination is a “non-adversarial dispute resolution process” for high-conflict divorced or separated parents. Parenting coordinators (PCs) are those charged with carrying out the process. Parenting coordination is most often used after two parents exhibit an inability to resolve their parenting disputes through less drastic means.

How Does Parental Coordination Begin?

Source:wakecounseling.com

The decision to enlist the help of a Parenting Coordinator (PC) could be voluntary or forced. Either the parents agree that it is necessary due to their inability to work together effectively, or the court will make a ruling to appoint a parenting coordinator.

Depending on jurisdiction and case specifics, a parenting coordinator may have a lot of control over the everyday lives of a family, which probably explains why PCs are usually not optional. You can find out here more facts about parenting coordinators and parallel parenting.

What Exactly Do Parental Coordinators Do?

In a nutshell, parental coordinators check-in on co-parents regularly and mediate the day-to-day affairs of raising children. According to the Guidelines for Parenting Coordinators of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, parental coordinators are also responsible for:

  • Offering guidance to parents: PCs may recommend parental education classes to one or both co-parents.
  • Monitoring for safety: PCs will be on the lookout for signs of abuse or neglect and must take appropriate action to address it.
  • Honoring the terms of protective and no-contact orders: PCs are responsible for ensuring that court orders are followed when implemented.
  • Reporting suspicions of substance misuse and mental impairment: Substance abuse and mental health are among the top concerns in any kind of social work.
  • Looking for signs of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV): This includes physical violence, but also other types of aggressive behavior (including unwanted or coerced sexual advances and coercion through financial means) that involve “intentional harm to emotional safety, security, and well being.”
Source:successfulfamilies.ca

Qualifications of PCs

The American Psychological Association (APA) lays out specific guidelines for PCs. The guidelines for parenting controllers are pretty in-depth, but generally speaking, the APA requires PCs to exhibit the “highest standards of their profession”. This means that PCs are expected to be just as qualified as those in similar professions, such as counselors and psychologists.

Legal Authority

The authority with which parenting coordinators operate varies from state to state. However, the scope of power in many states is quite broad. Depending on the jurisdiction, PCs may have authority over:

  • Transportation, vacation, and other schedules: PCs might be permitted to make small changes to parenting schedules, transportation to and from school, etc.
  • Healthcare management including, but not limited to, medical, dental, and vision. PCs may be allowed to make medical decisions for a child when co-parents disagree or are unable or unwilling.
  • Child-rearing issues: In some cases, PCs may have authority over things like bedtimes, discipline, curfews, diets, and homework.
  • Mental healthcare: PCs are often permitted to order mental health examinations for the children or either co-parent.
  • Education: A PC may resolve disputes over where a child attends school or even special education considerations.

Ethical and Confidentiality Considerations

Given the scope of their authority and duties, co-parents should not expect much confidentiality in their relationships with PCs. Furthermore, PCs have an ethical obligation to serve the best interests of the children above all else. That often means reporting incidents or making recommendations that one or both co-parents may find unnecessary or invasive.

Options to Try Before Parental Coordination

Source:consultation-mediationkj.com

Parental coordination is generally not the ideal situation for most parents. Having a stranger come in and start making rules considering how a child is raised can be very difficult for parents to accept. Bringing in a parenting coordinator is not ideal for the court either.

In a divorce involving children, the court is always looking to do whatever they can to keep life as normal for the children as possible. Bringing in a third party to help make decisions about parenting does not exactly fit that bill. However, above normalcy, the duty of the court is to protect the well being of the children.

So, in situations where the parents show themselves completely incapable of working together in any form, consistency for the children outweighs normalcy. Before turning to parental coordination, there are multiple methods that parents can try to raise their children together after divorce. The main two methods are co-parenting and parallel parenting. Try giving each other option a shot before turning to parental coordination.

Co-Parenting

Source:divorcedmoms.com

Co-parenting is generally considered to be the ideal form of parenting for children of separated parents. But it is also often the most difficult as it involves very close contact between ex-partners. For couples that eventually have to turn to parental coordination due to their inability to work together, co-parenting is unlikely to be a viable option.

Co-parenting involves both parents attending important events for the children and closely working together to provide a consistent set of rules.

Parallel Parenting

Source:regain.us

For parents who believe they may have to move to parental coordination in order to raise their children effectively, parallel parenting is much more likely to work as an alternative option. Parallel parenting involves minimal contact between the parents. Most of the communication between parents is done through electronic means. While the big picture decisions regarding the lives of the children are made together, the day-to-day rules in each household are left to the discretion of each parent individually.

While co-parenting provides the children with more consistency, parallel parenting has proven an effective alternative. Parallel parenting still gives the children a fair level of stability and protects them from the turmoil of fighting between their parents. Try these options for parenting post-divorce first and then move on to other options. Only move to parental coordination if you can not make something else work.

Overview

Parental coordination and its agents serve to resolve ongoing conflicts between divorced or separated parents who cannot or will not agree on custodial issues. Parental coordinators have qualifications similar to those in comparable professions and may have considerable authority over many aspects of families’ lives.

Mainly, parental coordinators help solve disputes between high conflict parents and look for elements or circumstances that could jeopardize children’s well-being. If this may be the only way you can parent effectively with your ex, you should consider enlisting the help of a parental coordinator.

4 Things to Know About Working with a Divorce Coach

It could seem that today’s modern world has turned into a whole epicentre invasion of coaches and gurus of many kinds. You bump into them at every step, social networks are full of advertisements that invite you with motivational messages to book a fantastic first session and see for yourself the quality of the service. Yet it also happens quite frequently that people today give heaps of money to self-proclaimed spiritual leaders but remain bearing the feeling of not progressing that much despite the pile of cash spent. Therefore, it’s no wonder that this type of occupation is sometimes seen as ‘blowing smoke’ and that there’s a lack of trust and the belief that hiring this kind of service has no effect. It’s also not surprising that people roll their eyes at the very mention of the term ‘divorce coach’ or throw in a comment followed by a sneer.

But… How much do we actually know about this profession and is it similar to today’s life coaches and to what extent? And what is actually a divorce coach? Basically, it’s quite simple – that’s what we call a person whose role is to provide emotional and mental support to individuals who are struggling after this challenging chapter of life. Now, you might think – but why would someone foot the bill for such things? Here we’ll try to explain a couple of things you should be aware of in case you’re considering giving it a try.

divorce coach

They’re not there to judge you

You may have had too much judging from those around you for what happened, mostly depending on what kind of environment you live in and how much support you have from your friends, family, and loved ones. Even if you haven’t, what’s certainly a fact is that you shouldn’t expect it from the divorce coach either. They are only interested in one thing – that you personally feel better and cope with this situation in an easier way,  as it might cause numerous psychological wounds and leave a deep mark on you.

They also aren’t there to moralize you and draw conclusions about you, and that’s the ace up your sleeve, as they’ll always look at you as a human being who needs assistance in overcoming difficult moments. You’ll always have somebody to rely on, even if your close people don’t have time or are willing to listen.

You should expect absolute honesty

Well, there it goes – you’ll need to take off your pink glasses and look at the real side of life. That’s why they serve as well – to help you by being honest and supportive at the same time. People who love you and know what you’ve been through might often remain quite biased when it comes to their attitudes and opinions on your situation and your ex-husband or wife, but that doesn’t always help.

Yes, it’s true – sometimes we aren’t prepared well enough to hear some real and somehow harsh things and facts. Especially after we’ve gone through a whole rollercoaster of emotions and temptations on our way. But think again – who wants to be lied to? You can expect them to honestly tell you their personal, but also professional opinion on your case and go through some facts with you. Painful? Might be, sometimes. Sad? You might be. But just remember – one day you’ll thank them for that as this could wake you up from apathy and make you realize valuable things about your life and marriage.

Source:divorcedmoms.com

They can help you take the necessary legal steps

You definitely need a lawyer to complete the procedure and fight for the best possible outcome – it’s inevitable. However, their job isn’t to approach you emotionally and take care of your feelings the way a coach cares. However, a divorce coach can have both roles depending on their knowledge of legal procedures and previous experience in the field.

Whether you have no idea about the legal aspect of this process and law or know something about it, but still need a second opinion or help on this topic, the situation is similar – you won’t have to worry about it. Professionals trained in this way are able to give the convenient piece of advice regarding the things that await you, the documents that need to be collected and possible scenarios. Also, through their connections it’s possible to achieve contact with other people that might help you.

They might teach you how to communicate through divorse process

Source:arizagalaw.com

Let’s be realistic, there are two main outcomes. Either you have remained in a correct and good relationship with your ex, or you can’t stand each other and you just want to break every bond you’ve built together as soon as possible. Not everyone’s lucky enough to be able to reach a compromise with their ex-partner and therefore this should be seen as a real blessing. But what if not everything is so great and peaceful?

This is where your divorce coach comes into play, as well. They’ll never encourage you to provoke and fuel quarrels and debates, but will try to teach you calmness and show you all the benefits of normal communication and what it can achieve. You can always expect wise pieces of advice if there’s a special situation that requires a little more thinking or an important decision.

Some of the companies like O’Sullivan Mediation possess a whole bunch of related services, depending on the situation you’re in, or whether the children are present and included into the thing. Or financial matters. Support with all these channels means a lot for the development of the further course of events.

Now, when knowing what could possibly go on if you decide to give a chance to this type of coach, could you imagine yourself having the support like that next to you? Everyone would, probably. In fragile times and periods in life, it’s a must to return to the right path with full strength and stand on your own feet – and this must be the right thing to do. There’s no room for shame or anything like that – it’s you and it’s your life. And it’s worth it, even after a series of life crashes – and that should never be forgotten.

Marriage Counseling – When to Save Your Relationship?

Successful unions are, of course, products of a mix of various components. Two of these components are fulfilment and happiness. The absence of these two and other factors could lead to marriage disasters.

Not all marriages can be saved as some are usually doomed, but counselling could work for most of these relationships. Teaching the basic principles in the counseling sessions could help in saving families by assisting couples in returning to the right path of marriage fulfilment.

Source:tomitalks.com

One of the key factors driving success in marital counselling is the willingness of both parties to work towards restoring their relationship. There is no end in the ways couples could create conflict in their relationships, and also there exist so many reasons why most couples seek advice. The fact is that, at one point in time, marriages will have some difficulties. The sad thing is that some of them do not survive, leading to divorce.

When couples reach the point of much sadness, frustration, and even severe hurt in their relationships, they seek counselling. If you are not sure whether to seek for a counselling or not, visit  Naya Clinics to see the benefits of getting a session. These troubles that they face may have arisen from their misunderstandings that might be brewing for years. Yet the only time that these couples could seek the counseling sessions is when they are nearly broken down.

Therefore, the success of marital advisory could be achieved when couples could seek help back then when these difficulties or misunderstandings began. The fact is that everyone needs striving for happiness, but our often visualized ideal of joy is rarely experienced in the real world.

We can say that the marriage relationship is hard work. Therefore, this needs each partner to suspend their egos and not fixate who is right and who is wrong. All they need to do is try to find a compromise and get around to discuss the issue that brings differences.

Source:thelawofattraction.com

Therefore, accepting the realities of the more achievable happiness will require realistic and sensible approaches and learning to drop their insistence on who is right.

This is usually the first step that couples need knowing before entering family counselling or even real marriage. Without these, then all the efforts you make could be in vain.

Although working on saving the marriages is usually the desire of most counselors, when couples insist on divorce, there is nothing that can be done. This is because even the couples could have reached the saturation point of their relationships despite the consultative sessions.

Even if the relationship could not be saved, the sessions could help a couple divorcing amicably and even learning on the willingness to co-parent with their children or even be friends. This could lessen the pain and also help people achieve more constructive processes. In these final stages of dissolving a union, extreme emotions could be felt.

These emotional and physical separations could worsen the feeling of distress, mourning, loss, and pain. Family counselling could often be one of the great ways that could help during these times as it could help couples expressing emotions that could not be fully expressed and also clearing the air for a new start as divorcees.

Once you begin seeing the signs of distress in marriages, then it is high time that you seek marriage counselling from experts.  It is not best waiting for the problems turning into layers that anger and hurt that could have created the pain that could never heal. Seeking the services of counselors at the earliest possible time will give you the best chance to renew the relationships. Waiting for too long will mean you are waiting until it is too late to save the marriages.

Online Marriage Counseling

Source:marriage.com

Marriage advice does play an integral role in the building of healthy families. Ethical counsellors do help in resolving the conflicts and establishment of long-lasting marital relationships. Most marital unions fail because one of the couples or both fail to seek the advice of marital therapists. The reason being that people are not willing to attend marriage advisory sessions in person.

This is the reason why online marriage counseling comes in handy to solving family problems. Most of the counselling service centres usually have online sessions for couples and families for 24 hours a day. One of the advantages of why most people prefer online counseling is that it saves time.

Online marriage sessions are that flexible, affordable, and offer confidential and more so these services are usually convenient to clients. Therefore, the experienced counsellors provide appropriate emotional support, solutions, and suggestions that help in supporting the couples through online chat, over the telephone, and email. These joint telephone sessions are usually offered on some special charges.

The first thing that the online counselors do is that they will give you online questionnaires in the beginning. After submitting these questionnaires, the counselors then provide the appropriate suggestions and feedback through email. When it is joint consultations, usually, two questionnaires are given. On these online platforms, the average time of the counseling sessions is often around two hours. After the submission to the online questionnaire, you are then required to pay the initial consultation fee.

The main topics that are usually covered by these Counsellors include Individual Counseling, conflict management, finance issues, family responsibilities, family history, intimacy and sexuality issues, and role definition.

Source:ici.net.au

Family guidance via online platforms could not be that effective. There are some limitations, like handling emotional issues such as breakups via the internet. It is always tricky gathering all the information that regards wife-husband relationships through the questionnaires. These are some of the drawbacks regarding online counseling. Therefore, choosing an online marriage therapist with the right certifications is vital. Counselors associated with reputable professional organizations could be the ideal choices.

Conclusion 

Counselling is thus essential, especially when it comes to saving marital relationships. The fact is that most of these marriages will not work, but a number of them will. Make sure you are seeking the right counselors to help you before your problems become that worse. Families that work are due to perseverance, but if you lack the patience for one another, this is one of the reasons for divorces. A perfect union is a beautiful home.

Why Access to Both Parents is Best for a Child

During the divorce or separation of the parents, children tend to suffer by being placed in the middle of arguments and animosity. Quite often parents will use their children as a tool to gain revenge over the other parent and restrict the other parents contact with the child.

Kabir Family Law have considered the impact on children of having contact with both parents and detail below the advantages of this on the children.

Children feel values when they maintain contact with both parents

Source:momjunction.com

When parents separate and children have access to both parents, the children are likely to benefit psychologically. Children appreciate that they are loved by both parents who want to be a part of their lives. This leads to children appreciating that their parents are making great efforts to jointly care for them despite their differences which lead them to separate. With the love and affection, a child receives from both parents they are more likely to be able to overcome the impact of their parents separating and are able to begin building a stable life. Children are emotionally better placed when in contact with both parents and are more likely to discuss their concerns and issues with the parents rather than suffering alone which could often lead to stress and cause children entering into bad habits.

Children can secure a better future by having contact with both parents

Source:financialexpress.com

Where a child is restricted to having contact with one parent they are more likely to have behavioural issues, likely to run away and are more likely to engage in drug and alcohol abuse. Having contact with both parents can often be the solution to ensuring children secure their future and limit any behaviour which can damage them. When children are cared for by both parents following the separation, children will be required to spend time between two households. This will provide them with a sense of security.

This also means that children will be spending more time with parents rather than spending time alone which is often the cause of children going astray. Studies have confirmed that where a child has contact with both parents they are more likely to have a better relationship with both mother and the father which could lead to a stable life. Children with the benefit of having access to both parents are likely to achieve better results at school, are better placed psychologically and socially, less likely to smoke and abuse drugs and alcohol as well as being less likely to suffer from depression, anxiety and stress related illnesses.

Economic benefits having contact with both parents

It is a known fact that children who live with one parent without having the other parent in their life are likely to suffer financially and are more likely to enter into poverty. Having both parents in a child’s life can ensure a financially stable childhood knowing that both parents will be co-operating to meet the needs of the child. Children are likely to receive better education to prepare them for a brighter future ahead where both parents are able to financially support the child during their childhood years. Quite often these children are able to focus on their education in order to ensure they are able to secure successful careers.

Effective bonding with both parents can help nurture a child

Children benefit from spending time with each of their parents. Whilst constructing relationship with both parents a child will understand the importance of long standing trust and friendship. With the influence of both parents in their lives children are more likely to be able to adopt a stable social network of family and friends and are less likely to remain isolated which could affect their mental health and wellbeing.

Child contact with both parents can avoid parental alienation

Allowing your child access to both parents can eliminate the issue of parental alienation. It is known that a child has a right to have contact and access to both parents. By restricting contact, you are more likely to cause parental alienation which can have damaging psychological and emotional effects on your child and the absent parent. By promoting access, you are ensuring that your child is not deprived of their relationship with the other parent and can benefit from the life experiences of the non-resident parent. This will allow your child to gain a better understanding of their other parent and utilise their life experiences.

The law promotes shared parenting and access to both parents for a child

It is widely recognised that it is in a child’s best interest to have access to both parents. Shared parenting offers the following advantages to a child:

  • Increased physical health
  • Psychological wellbeing
  • Emotional support from both parents
  • Financial support from both parents; and
  • A strong sense of love and affection from both parents which leads to a stronger family unit.
Source:yourteenmag.com

Parents should therefore try and promote a child’s contact with the non resident parent. A child with access to only one parent can express their anger in subtle and direct ways. Such children are more anxious, depressed and withdrawn. Allowing a child with access to both parents reduces the sense of rejection and loss a child experiences when the parents separate. Allowing a child continued access to both parents often results in a positive atmosphere for the children which carries long terms benefits.

Above all shared parenting promotes both parents roles in the child’s life. A child simply needs both of their parents which is their right.

J.Lo and Marc Antony had the Most “Beautiful” Divorce

It’s hard to believe the way this divorce happened, and it represents a great lesson to couples who are facing a crisis. We were sure that Jennifer Lopez and Marc were the perfect couple, but their divorce in 2011 showed that love is unpredictable even though Marc confessed his love for her from the day he met her.

“One day, you’re going to be my wife.” The tragic thing was that Marc was also the first to say he wasn’t happy, and that showed Jeniffer the true cause of her constant anxiety.

Source:foxnews.com

“Because I haven’t been happy for a long time, and I’m not facing it, and he was brave enough to say it first.”

Jennifer made the hardest decision of her life and asked for a divorce, which happened in such a peaceful way that even she was surprised. “When I said it to him, I kind of wished that he would’ve been like: “No way!” But he knew it too, and he was like: “Ok,” and I was like:” Ok.”

The singers realized that their chemistry had faded, but that didn’t mean they didn’t love each other anymore or that they regretted it. With their divorce still fresh, they worked on a really show together and the world was shocked to see there were no hard feelings between them.

“Always made each other laugh, you know? Don’t take things too seriously, just always busting each other’s chops. It’s pretty much how it was. Being mindful of each other’s feelings was the key to their successful divorce.”

Besides, they both fell for each other’s genuine personality. Although they don’t love each other like husband and wife, they still respect and consider the other their best friend.

Source:today.com

J.Lo and Marc still work together because they also admire one another as artists and that collaboration made the divorce easy for their twins, Emme and Max.

“The kids, they get to spend time with the two of us more together and see us working together. It’s good for them, good for us. ”

Her relationship with her ex is so good that Marc is friends with Alex Rodriguez, Jennifer’s fiance and that now lives with the twins. It’s not strange to see them together at important family events, and J.Lo congratulates both her fiancé and her ex on Father’s Day. But won’t Marc be jealous of sharing his kids with Alex? It’s possible to be civil, and mature, and adult about it. Period. Marc and J.Lo show how important it is to be friends with your partner, so you appreciate and respect each other no matter how long love lasts.

The Incident Which Made Angelina Jolie File for Divorce

Brad Pitt was completely wrecked by his divorce. When Angelina decided to leave him, he thought he would never get back on his feet. Did the actor find the courage to turn his life around? Brangelina seemed like the perfect couple. They had it all: success, beauty, a big family, and envious chemistry. The couple took care of Angelina’s three adopted kids and their three biological children as well. For Brad, building a family was an extraordinary experience. “Yeah, as I say: It’s the greatest thing I’ve taken on. I can’t imagine life without them.”

Source:theatlantic.com

The couple stuck together, giving the best for their children, despite rumors of infidelity and other obstacles. Until an incident with their eldest son made Angelina file for divorce and ask for the custody of their six children. Brad and Maddox, who was 16, had a fight on a plane. Brad wasn’t in his right mind, making the problem worse. When they got home, the police had to get involved in making sure the fight hadn’t been violent. And although it wasn’t, he had to deal with social services for several months.

Source:ibtimes.com

Brad suffered because he couldn’t see his children, but after a while, he realized what his mistakes had been. He got carried away by his addictions. He left everything, started working out, and took care of his problems from inside out. “I just started therapy. I love it. I went through two therapists to get the right one.” Now he’s a completely different man. Thanks to that change, Angelina let him spend time with their kids again. “We’re both doing our best. And fortunately, my partner in this agrees.” Although he’s proud of his transformation, he doesn’t want to get back with Angelina. “If you love someone, set them free. Now I know what that means by feeling it.” His biggest priorities now are his children.

Why Wasn’t Katie Holmes Allowed to Date Anyone After her Divorce?

Her marriage with Tom Cruise ended in 2012. She accepted some controversial divorce clauses, which only went public years later. Katie was the one who asked for the divorce. Back then, Tom Cruise said he was caught off guard and that he was “deeply sad.” The divorce was signed very fast. Katie accepted the many prohibitions, but one of those was not strictly followed.

Source:irishmirror.ie

Katie Holmes wasn’t allowed to date anyone for 5 years. She also couldn’tt say anything about Tom’s religion, Scientology.

Also read:  Chrissy Teigen Accused of Bullying a 17-year-old

But, a little over s year after the divorce, she was seen dancing with Jamie Foxx, and the rumors of them being together started.

At the time, Foxx denied saying “It’s quite hilarious because we simply danced at a charity event.”

Even so, the rumors spread like wildfire. In 2016, a friend let the secret slip out. “He is very happy with her.” The “secret relationship” was constantly in the media.

Source:pagesix.com

Then, in 2017, they were seen holding hands. Coincidence or not, right after the 5-year anniversary Katie’s divorce, Holmes and Foxx confirmed the relationship. After that, they went together to the Pre-Grammy Gala. They were also seen kissing at the beach. And when a tabloid claimed they were no longer together, Katie said it was “100% untrue”.

The actress allegedly earned 5 million dollars form the divorce, and received 4.8 million dollars in child support. Katie is giving love a new chance, and we all see how happy she looks!

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