If you’re nervous about seeming boring on your first date, don’t worry! Almost everyone has been in the same position at some point in their dating life. First dates are nerve-wracking enough without the added stress that you’re not going to have anything to talk about. In this article, we’ve put together the best tips to stop you from running out of things to say.
Make it about them
The whole reason that we go on dates is to try to get to know someone and make a connection to see if you’re a compatible match. The best way to get to know someone else is to ask them questions. Most people love talking about themselves and if asked the right things, will go on all day, which also fixes your problem of not having anything to say. Rather than thinking about yourself and how you’re going to impress your date, shift the focus to them, and then relate any genuine stories you have to what they are telling you. Look out for any topics that make your date seem particularly interested or excited and explore this with them. Try not to make it an interview, though – asking question after question. Have your questions be the start of topics of conversation, and once you finish the conversation, ask another question.
Also, you can play a game or two to know each other more, and Pluc has some very interesting questions which can help you guys bond more and keep the conversation going.
Prepare some stories
As well as having some interesting questions ready to ask, it can also be useful to have some stories about yourself prepped for when the conversation starts to die down. These don’t need to be anything amazing, but funny anecdotes about your week or something interesting you read can be good ways to energize the conversation. Try not to plan the whole conversation. But then, these can be good to have in your back pocket just in case you need them.
The idea of being polarizing is that you don’t hold back your interests or ideas just to satisfy someone else. If it’s your first date, you don’t need to start lecturing about your political ideas, but if you disagree with what your date says, politely say so. An excellent example of this is if your date says he or she loves a type of food or TV show that you don’t, but you say you do just to make the person like you more. This will hurt you later if the relationship continues as you’ll have to go back on what you said. Being polarizing about your interests is also a great idea, and if you have an interest that’s slightly outside of the norm, then don’t hide it if it comes up. The people that you may have a genuine connection with will find you more attractive if you ‘just be yourself.’
If you’re still looking to find your first date, we recommend trying dating websites and apps such as Tinder or PlentyOfFish. Alternatively, you can click here to find singles ready to date interracially. Regardless of your type, we hope that these tips will help keep the conversation flowing on your next date.