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Toxic Masculinity Doesn’t Mean that Being a Man is Bad

Men today face an interesting dilemma. In a time where third wave feminism has introduced concepts of toxic masculinity and the patriarchy, what behaviors are still acceptable? Domestic abuse has gained a wider definition, and for good reason. A large swathe of time has passed since men’s undershirts were affectionately termed wife beaters, and yet there still seems a wide range of men looking back at the 40s and 50s through a romantic lens. No one is telling men not to be masculine, yet male sensitivity and insecurities seem to be rife nonetheless.

Source:slantedonline.com

Toxic masculinity is defined as misinterpretation (by men) of what defines masculinity and how best to embody it. Being brave in a social situation turns into challenging someone you’re arguing with to a physical fight. The need to assert one’s dominance and feel proud of themselves turns into calling electric saws a tool for cowards as seen in this video on Explosion.com. Homophobia is an obvious symptom of toxic masculinity, as it belies an intolerance stemming from insecurity: I don’t like that someone is homose*ual, and the fact that they anyway make me feel powerless.

The term is one that used to belong only to women’s gender studies classrooms but has been catapulted into mainstream by activists and those fighting for equal rights between men and women. It has been misinterpreted by men who embody its traits and is wrongly believed to imply that manliness is inherently toxic. This is not the case. One can still embody the traditional traits of masculinity without the worry of persecution by feminists or women in general. It’s alright to be chivalrous, as long as you aren’t condescending.

One term that goes hand in hand with toxic masculinity is “mansplaining.” When heard out of context, ignorant men may believe that it implies a man explaining something is seen as wrong in itself. The term itself describes the act of a man automatically explaining something to a woman on the assumption that the woman doesn’t know – all because she is a woman. It is relegated to situations where men are being arrogant and ignorant all at once. It doesn’t mean that you can’t tell your wife how to get to the doctor’s office, or explain to a coworker how coding works – just don’t assume they’re ignorant off the bat. Treat them as an equal, and ask them if they need something explained before launching into a possibly boring, entirely unnecessary lecture.

Source:jezebel.com

It’s terms like these that have led many men to term women activists as “fem-nazis” – women who use their womanhood to belittle and criticize men in general. This characterization is itself toxic, as it leads many men to incorrectly assume that feminism, in general, is a form of misandry – it isn’t. It is a fight for equality that stems from ancient assumptions of gender roles. The belief that men are meant to provide for their families and women are meant to raise children completely ignores cultures in which that wasn’t the case. There have been hundreds of cultures that were matriarchal ones. The willful ignorance of facts like this is detrimental to feminism and women being treated as equal.

 

4 Things You Need to Know About Family Law

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It’s not quite intended for couples to get married, have children and then get divorced. No one goes with the mindset of marrying someone, saying to themselves “I will divorce in 10 years.” So you can imagine that family law is an area of the law where people have little to no experience in.

Family law revolves around the separation and divorce of married couples. And this article will focus on the most important 4 things to understand about it, regardless if you’re in search of information or you’re going through a divorce.

Children Have the Rights, Parents Have the Responsibilities

It’s safe to point out that parents don’t have the rights to their children when it comes to divorces. In the eyes of the law, at least, children have the rights and parents have the responsibilities. When married couples go through a divorce, especially if they have children, it’s always best to think about the children first. No parent has the right to equal time with a child, regardless if they pay more child support. A court determines when and how much time with the children one of the parents has.

Img Source: divorceattorneyrockfordil.com

All Assets go Into the Shared Property Pool

A common misconception and a pretty unfair one to be precise is that you share the property that you acquire during the marriage. But this is not the case according to RIGHT Lawyers. During a divorce, all property gets shared in a 50-50 manner between both parents. The misconception is that what property you’ve owned before the marriage, you get to keep. But according to the law, if that property has had an increase in value, then that value must be accounted towards the shared property pool. How you choose to share the property in the shared pool is up to you and the person you are divorcing.

Img Source: behzadiosborne.com

Property Should NOT be Divided 50-50

Adding on nicely from our previous point, many married couples do indeed think that everything you’ve owned together should be shared in a 50-50 manner. But this is not the case as there is a strict principle for how property should be shared.

Namely, the court looks at your age, your health, your ability to earn now and in the future, your responsibilities for caring for the children, and any disadvantages. If one of the parents is worse off than the other, then an adjustment should be made towards that individual to help balance it out.

Img Source: avlawyers.com.au

Divorce and Financial Settlement are Two Different Things

Filing for divorce and legally finalizing your finances are two different things. To get a financial settlement (legally finalizing your finances) you have to consent order or you will need a financial agreement. To end a marriage you will need to file an application for divorce. To make things clear, you have up to 12 months since your divorce to settle all financial agreements. And people generally prefer to do this before actually applying for the divorce itself. To file for divorce, you and your partner need to be separated for 12 months. Since 12 months is a lot of time, couples prefer to do a financial settlement before the filing of divorce is possible.